Of Hogwarts and Head Boys
by AmzyD
Summary: Lily's adventure through her seventh year at Hogwarts brought to you in diary form. Make way for Marauder mischief, excruciating exams and of course, the one and only James Potter.
1. Of Hogwarts and Head Boys

**A/N: Right. First shot at a multi-chap fic. It will be rather slow at first, and it will take time to break into it, but please do review and let me know whether to continue or not! Thanks x**

Status: Tired/Pondering

Where: Heads dormitory

Writing is a strange thing. A release from the stress given to humans by social norms. A way to share your own private thoughts or feelings. A sense of freedom.

So I thought, sod it, I'd start a diary. My name is Lily Evans; I am of average height and average personality. The craziest thing about me is my red hair and red temper. Other than that, I'm nothing special. I can do a few tricks with a wand...Oh dear, that doesn't sound right does it...

Diaries are tricky things to write in, because it's awkward to know where to begin. So I'll just start from the beginning. Well, from this morning. This is how it all went down:

Oh Merlin. Merlin, Merlin, Merlin. Where was that _bloody _badge?! I was going to be so late because of this. What if the train left me? Oh MERLIN. I knew I wasn't cut out for this head girl business. What was Dumbledore thinking? Picking someone like me to be head girl? I couldn't even be responsible for my own badge.

I eventually found my badge (inside my shoe...) and headed off for the train, making it by only 2 minutes. It didn't take me long to find my best friend, Alice Prewett. We nabbed a compartment to ourselves for once and began to unwind.

"So Lily," began Alice, wriggling her eyebrows, "Head Girl, hmm? And working with _James Potter! _I've been laughing since you told me" she said, giggling at my misfortune.

"Alice," I groaned, "to be honest, I doubt it will be that bad, Potter hasn't really spoken to me since fifth year, and last year he seemed alright."

This was true. James Potter and I...our tale is too long to even begin to explain ...let's just say we met in First Year, hated each other, he mockingly asked me out every day from third to fifth year, until last year he miraculously stopped bugging me and we haven't talked since. Except for a few Hi's and Bye's. But I'm seventeen years old, I don't hold a grudge.

"Oh Lily," Alice said, wiping tears from her eyes, "you two are so going to get it on this year," she said, a mad glint in her eyes.

That's another thing. Ever since third year Alice has had this strange theory that Potter and I are going to fall in love and make babies and all the rest of it.

She's bonkers.

I'd sooner lose some teeth than let that happen. Not because I'm holding a grudge but just because...Potter and I...just no.

She also thinks that he was being serious when he was asking me out all those times. But I won't be fooled. It was all a game! But its water over a duck's back now. All is forgotten.

To be honest, I _did _used to fancy James Potter back in third year, but that all stopped as soon as I realised what an insufferable prick he was being.

"Talking of Potter," I said, ignoring her comments completely, "I have a heads meeting to get to."

And with that, I made my way to the Head's compartment. When I got there, Potter was already there. He gave me a smile and it lit up his eyes. He stood up and came towards me to shake my hand.

Potter is quite a bit taller than me, he is quite muscular, and he had a large mop of messy brown hair. I'm not the type to deny it; he _is _a very attractive lad, just not my cup of tea.

"Lily," he said, his voice pleasant, "I look forward to working with you,"

He sounded genuine, and I gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed he was.

"Thanks Potter," I said, putting on my firm stern McGonagall voice, "the pleasures all mine,"

"James," he said, the smile fading slightly, "My name is James," he repeated albeit hesitantly.

This wasn't news to me. I knew his _name _for merlins sake but it was strange. He was Potter and I was Evans. It's as it always was.

"I think we should be on first name terms now," he said hastily, "since we're heads together and all,"

That made sense.

"Oh of course you're right," I said, mustering a smile, "James," I added politely.

The meeting went quite well. Shockingly well. Potter was, I mean _James _was quite the troublemaker normally, and I assumed I'd be taking the reins but he lead the meeting quite well, even lecturing the prefects about rules, a word I never knew was in is vocabulary.

I told him this later, after the prefects had filed out and he laughed merrily.

"Lily Evans!" he said in mock-shock, "didn't you know? I'm Head Boy now!"

I laughed too and our banter continued until I reached my compartment.

"This is where I go, it seems," I said, turning towards him to say my goodbye.

The walk back had gone quite well; we talked about the holidays; stuff like that, small talk, things acquaintances would share. And then he turned it slightly awkward.

"Before you go Lily," he began, looking nervous, "I hope we can be friends this year, you know, what with being Heads, we have to cooperate and you know, I'd like to get to know you more, it's ok if you don't want to, I don't mind just talking when we have to, but you know..." he tailed away rambling about co-operation and friendship and stuff, all the while rumpling his hair.

If it wasn't so awkward I would have laughed. He looked so endearing all worried like that.

"James," I said amusedly, cutting off his rambles, "I'd love to be friends."

And with that I gave him a bye and returned to my compartment. Not that I was met by anything special, only Alice and her usual squealing.

"Oh Merlin Lily! Do you know what this means?!" she shrieked happily.

"That he wants to be friends with me? Honestly, you'd think you just _didn't _eavesdrop there!" I said, exasperated.

The rest of the train ride went pretty much like that. Alice spouting her theories and me ignoring her and tucking into a box of Bertie's.

I _have _been mulling the situation over though (in this amazing head dormitories I must say, most comfy!) and have come to the conclusion that this year would be a bad one if James and I converted back to our old arguing ways. Being friends was the way forwards. I had quite a few friends; one more wouldn't make a difference.

Also, insert excited scream here, Robert Davies _totally _smiled at me on the way back from the feast! He is dreamy.

Really, you'd think I was a giggling fourth year.

Anyway, off to bed now for me. Classes start tomorrow (I don't know whose idea that was. Probably Dumbledore...he made me head girl after all, one _has _to be batty to do that).

How does one say bye to diaries? Good bye? Farewell? Adieu? Until I next write?

Oh sod it.

Night!

Status: Troll-like

Where: Great Hall

That's it. It's confirmed. It is way too early to think. Or breathe. Or talk. Or even eat. Dumbledore is off his rocker.

And what does my timetable inform me of my morning?

First lesson: Transfiguration! Hurrah. That will lift my spirits, surely.

Yeah, sarcasm.

Wish me luck...

**A/N: Do review! x**


	2. Mission Marauder

**A/N: Second chapter here, do enjoy and please, please review! x**

Status: Apologetic?

Where: Cosy Head dorms

So, I haven't updated you, dearest diary, for a whole week now. I am sure you've been expecting endless amazing tales as to explain why I have not filled you in. And the excuse is...

Nothing.

My life has been the opposite of adventurous lately let me tell you. What's so interesting about lessons? That's all I've been doing. NEWTS this and NEWTS that. And to think I thought last year was bad.

Anyway, I am making a vow directly to you, dearest diary, to update you on every little thing that happens in my life. Be it interesting or not. I promise not to just write in here when I'm bored (like I am now, by the way, I'm shocked I actually managed to have time to be bored).

Toodle Doo for now.

Status: Too-tired-to-be-here

Where: History of Magic

Notes Alice and I share in History of Magic because we are such eager and keen students:

Alice – So Lily-dee dumpling, enjoying history?

**Me- Immensely. Enjoying staring at Frank?**

Alice- Lily! Frank is my friend, hold your mouth!

**Me- Look at me Alice. See that smug grin on my face? It knows more.**

Alice- Looking forward to your heads meeting tonight?

**Me- You're insane.**

And that was the end of those notes.

In other news; Robert smiled at me again! And he even said hi. Alice thinks he's into me but I told her that's impossible, he is still going out with Sandy, but Alice seems to think he dumped her last term. She is still pouty about it, because somewhere in that head of hers, she thinks I'm destined to be with James Potter. But let's not go into that again.

Talking of James Potter, Alice was right; I do have a heads meeting with him tonight. I'm interested to see whets he's like in the role of Head Boy again.

Wish me luck!

Status: Exhausted/Thinking/Tootiredforthinkingbutstilla manyway

Where: My bed

So, tonight. Wow. Um. Where do I start?

Well the Heads meeting went well, without much fuss. After that James and I made our way back to our dorms (we have our own common room, how cool is that, seriously), and we decided neither of us were very tired. So we made ourselves comfy by the fire and we just...we talked. Loads. We didn't talk about serious things; he would crack jokes and tell me silly tales and I would laugh and put in my two pence.

You might be wondering why on earth that's such a big deal, why would I even mention it, but I don't know. I just felt so relaxed, so calm. I felt like we could have been friends for years, how easy it was to talk to him.

And the strangest thing was, it made me sad. I'm upset at the fact that I wasted so much time picking fights with him and looking for arguments and just us generally screaming our heads off at each other.

We wasted so much time when we could have been getting along and having fun and doing things like we did tonight. I feel ashamed and embarrassed for the way I treated him. One thing I've always hated is people who judge before they even know someone deep down. And that's exactly what I've done to James.

I know all my diary entries have been quite jovial and carefree, but I'm in my last year of Hogwarts for Merlin's sake, and it's high time I stop taking everything as a joke.

Yes, the work is a shitload, yes I'm tired and stressed, yes I've been an awful person to someone who is actually an alright guy underneath it all. And yes, I feel crap about it.

I just hope now that I can make amends for everything I've done. My new personal mission is to make James Potter and even his little cronies, forget about how I acted towards them before.

And that is going to be some mission.

Status: Successful

Where: Breakfast table

So I managed to track down Peter on the way to breakfast today. I figured he'd be the easiest of the bunch. This is how it went down:

**Me: Peter! Do you mind if I have a word?** (I used my sweetest voice)

Peter: Uhh Sure thing Evans! (Poor bloke looked so worried)

**Me: Look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for annoying the heck out of you, it's the last year and I just want to clear things up with people...Is that okay? **(Another sweet smile)

Peter: Umm alright Evans, I forgive you!

**Me: It's Lily! **

And then he scuttled away with an awkward nod.

Well, one down. I'm quite happy actually. One step closer to complete absolvement.

I'm going to reward myself with an extra helping of whatever we're having for breakfast. I never said I didn't have an appetite.

Status: Calculating

Where: Ancient Runes

Remus isn't going to be that difficult to talk to, I got on with him, fellow prefect and all! Actually, let's just forget Remus altogether, he won't mind.

So then there's Sirius Black. Insert gulp here. He's going to be the difficult one to get round. Let me explain to you the wonder that is Sirius Black.

Sirius, whilst being a very popular lad, has very few close friends. He's a very, very secretive person. Nobody knows much about his life. He's just Sirius. Fun loving, carefree and obnoxious.

So why would he give me the time of day to grovel? I'm going to have to come up with a cunning plan.

I've informed Alice of my Mission Marauders (as she named it), and we've made some interesting plans. I call them:

Plans Alice and I came up with to lure the dangerous, corrosive Sirius Black to our attention during a very boring Ancient Runes class:

Plan One: We corner Black when he is heading to the Quidditch Pitch to fly (he does this every Wednesday at 8pm. I shudder to think how Alice knows this). And we will have a giant net waiting to capture him just before he enters the changing rooms.

Let me clarify, plan one is entirely Alice's idea, thus entirely stupid.

Plan Two: We stalk him around the castle until he's alone and put him at wand-point so he can't escape.

Courtesy to me for that idea. But Alice thinks it is slightly barbaric. But only slightly.

Plan Three: We stalk him around the castle and then make a distraction so we somehow get him alone. Then we shoot green gunk at him through our wands until hest raped as a green goo slug on the floor so he has no choice other than to listen to me.

Alice's idea again. So third year.

So after all those failed attempts we came up with an amazing plan. So simple, yet so...Okay it's just to go up to him and say "Hey Sirius, can I have a word?"

Yeah. Why did it take me so long to think of this again. I blame my sleep deprived brain. And Alice Prewett.

Xxx

**A/N: nice review button there, don't you think? One word will do xx**


	3. Prankster Extraordinaire

**A/N: Thanks for the encouragement people. I know these chapters are short, but it's the beginning of the year, not much will be going on in Lily's life to write about. They will get longer :) **

_Status: Successful (again)_

_Where: On Alice's bed_

Mission Marauder: Sirius Black was a huge success! And much easier than we thought it would be.

This is what happened:

I tracked down Sirius Black

He said "of course I'll come down this lonely deserted corridor with you, Lily flower"

I rolled my eyes

I cursed inwardly for rolling my eyes

I explained myself

He shrugged and said sure

That was the easy part. It's what happened afterwards that was truly amazing. And mainly embarrassing. We were walking back along the corridor to the great hall, chattering away aimlessly, when I saw it.

"It" was a bucket. A bucket of what looked like bright green slime. And Sirius Black was going to walk straight underneath it.

"BLACK, NO!" I yelled out frantically.

In the moments after that I do not know what ran through my mind. Did I not want his reputation as "the-never-been-pranked-prankster" to be tarnished? Did I feel like having a splash about in some green slimy stuff? Who knows? Either way, I jumped up pushing him out of the way.

And then came the slime. And loads of it. It trickled down my back and into my shirt. It bubbled away on my hair! I grimaced, stuck to the spot.

After Sirius had recovered (from his laughing, and believe you me, there were _tears), _he pulled himself together and tried to get the slimy gunk the hell off of me.

But nothing worked. No spell, nada. So Sirius started to grin again and then mock-seriously saluted me.

"Lily Evans," he began, "for your valiant efforts to save I, Sirius Black, king prankster of Hogwarts, I now present to you the honour of using my first name,"

I raised my eyebrow at him, amused.

"Is that all?" I wondered out loud, "because this slimy stuff _is _capable of finding its way onto your shirt," I smiled evilly at him and he got the message.

"No need to be rash Lily!" he started with a wink, "Okay, how's this, I'll do our next transfiguration homework for you," he finished, smiling sweetly.

"Deal!" I said, relieved. Damn transfiguration for being my weakness.

So we walked back towards the common room now (we missed lunch) and Sirius asked me confusedly.

"Isn't it against the rules to cheat on homework, Lily flower?" he asked openly, "Perfect Lily Evans; she cheats!"

I snorted out loud. Honestly? Me, perfect? What library do these people get their jokes from because it sounds pretty fictional to me?

"Rules? What cause I'm a prefect I have to have a stick up my arse? Give me a break," I said, snorting again.

"Oho! My Lily fleur! You _are _a rascal," he said with a wink, "but honestly, I never knew you had this side to you! You even said," he begins to mock-whisper, "_a-r-s-e!"_ he finishes cackling happily.

Oh, Merlin. If I wasn't covered in slimy (and smelly) gloop right now I would honestly set him very straight, with a few choice words. But I settle for a roll of my eyes and a small grin and wander upstairs.

Alice only takes one look at me and cackles her head off like the demented witch she truly is. So I decide to share my beloved gloop with her by sitting on her bed.

After explaining what happened, let's just say, the tears of mirth might have been rolling off of her body and onto the floor, dancing in their own laughter.

It's really not that funny.

But I digress, I have to go and get this awful slime out of my hair.

Till then!

_Status: At peace_

_Where: My own common room (yes, the very cosy one)_

Has anyone ever told you how amazing footstools are? They are just so _comfortable. _Practically massaging.

But of course no one has ever told you that, you are a diary. One that I must right _in _not too.

Anyway, after I'd gotten the gloop out of my hair and had a very long shower, I set of for another prefect meeting with James.

It went well, nothing majorly important to note, other than the fact the prefects where all buzzing with the idea of a Christmas Ball.

Same thing every year, Dumbledore won't allow it. But James says he'll work on him, so maybe.

Anyway after he (probably falsely) raised the hopes of the young people, we issued patrol timetables. Thank god we weren't scheduled on tonight, so we made our way back here.

On the way we talked about many things:

Homework

Qudditch

Ice cream flavours

Qudditch

Quidditch

So yes, mainly Quidditch. I didn't mind though, bless him, he does have a match coming up in 2 weeks time, I don't blame him from being so eager, even _I _want to see us win the cup for once.

After the quidditch/ice cream/homework talks we moved onto the subject of Black. Or should I say Sirius.

"So I hear you've been giving permission to use Sirius' name," James began proudly, the one a mother might use, honestly.

"Does he report back _everything _to you?" I asked in mock shock, "Or did you stalk me invisibly or something," I said chuckling at my joke.

For some reason, James went oddly uncomfortable, but then he told me that Sirius was a very impersonal person, and being _allowed _to use his name was an amazing feat, apparently.

"So did he tell you about the," I lowered my voice and looked around the corridor in pretend secrecy, "the _a-r-s-e _too?"

James burst out laughing and his laughter told me all I needed to know. That Sirius and his big mouth.

"So," I began, hesitant now, "Do you lot really think I'm 'Perfect Lily _fleur_' then? Cause if that's what you all think, then you're all wrong! I am _not _perfect you know and…"

My voice trailed away when I caught sight of James 'face. He looked so…_serious_ (no pun intended).

"Lily," he began softly, startling me, "of course you're not perfect and no human is, so don't feel pressured…and if your referring to it the way you think I am, then let me tell you, your no stick in the mud, your company has been the funniest I've had all day!" He stopped, looking hesitant.

And then he says something which makes me feel sort of queasy, the guilt washing over me again.

"I wish we had put aside our differences before Lil, because yeah, I thought you were fun before, but now I know you're a hundred times better than I could have imagined."

And then he smiled and turned around and left me outside the portrait.

My head was spinning like honestly, what was that meant to mean? So here I am now, pondering. Footrests supporting my feeble feet.

Mission Marauder is complete, so why am I still feeling so guilty? The way he looked at me when he said what he did, it seemed like he really did enjoy my company.

Well, I don't know what I should do, but I know what I'm _going _to do. And that is to show James Potter the time of his life.

I'm going to make him feel like he was right to decide to become my friend.

And although that would be an awesome spot to stop, I must make a little…

NOTE TO SELF: Do not tell Alice about this. She will be spouting theories for the next 10 weeks.

That is all x

**A/N: sorry its taking so slow to kick off, but I can't just have Lily fall in love with James straight away can I? There will be more Lily/James bonding soon, so keep a lookout:) and review! X **


	4. Of Quidditch and Bonding

**Disclaimer: All belongs to JKR.**

** A/N: So, another chapter is up. A LOT of L/J bonding here, it is coming people, I promise. In the chapter after this, or the one after that, I have some serious plot juice for you all. Oh and I have a few words that I've used with the strike tool, it seems to work on here but incase you find some weird sentences, you may not be able to see the strike on your pc/mobiles. Thanks, and do review.**

_Status: Happy  
Where: My bed, my room_

Ahh diary. It seems I have abandoned you for the last few days. For this I am ashamed and sorry. But to be honest I have been slightly busy of late, what with my mission make James potter realise what an amazing friend I am (let's just call it mission James from now on).

And so far so good! James and I have done a lot of bonding lately. We've had to; we've been on patrol every night this week so far.

_Things I like about patrol:_  
-We have the castle to roam around by ourselves  
-We don't actually patrol most of the time...when I say patrol I actually mean wandering to random places like the kitchens or...okay just the kitchens.  
-I get to eat scrummy food  
-I get to find out lots more about James  
_  
What I dislike about patrol: _  
Nothing. Ok maybe the sore feet but that's it.

So all in all I'm happy with the results of my mission thus far. To be honest, I'm shocked.

James is...James is something else. It's just so easy to get along with him. We just walk around for hours talking about everything from childhood to habits to house elves.

I've learnt a few things about James, one being that he doesn't like chocolate ice cream. Who doesn't like chocolate ice cream? I may have to reassess my whole motion. Can I really afford to be friends with someone who doesn't like chocolate ice cream? Hmm.

Anyway more recently I have been learning a lot...a whole bloody lot...about Quidditch. Gryffindor vs. Slytherin is on Saturday so James is in Quidditch mode already.

I don't mind though, even Quidditch becomes interesting when it's a form of escape from those damn NEWTS.

So I am really looking forward to the match on Saturday!  
_  
Status: Amused  
Where: Patrol_

You may be wondering why I am writing in here instead of conversing with dearest James over here, and I shall tell you why.

It's Friday night. James is suffering from pre match nerves. He is now in looking out of a window near the wall opposite the cosy little alcove from where I am writing.

I think he's even mumbling to himself.

Oh dear he's coming over here

_Status: James has taken over  
Where: Still patrol_

Oh. This is weird. Hello weird little thing Lils writes in. Damn you Lily for charming it so I can't read what you've said before!  
Lily is currently opposite me. She reckons writing in here will calm me down like it does for her.  
It is not helping.  
You can have Lily back.

Lily here. Sorry for inflicting that pain upon you...weird little thing; puh!  
I suggested James write in here to ease his nerves but it didn't seem to work...to each their own eh?

His form of self calming seems to be talking to walls.

Not unusual at all.

Anyway, I shall probably write again after the match. Wish Gryffindor luck!

_Status: Pre-match tension  
Where: Quidditch stands  
_  
Well. I got to write in here before the match. Where do I even start?

I accompanied James to breakfast today for some moral support but somehow I didn't think I was really helping; he and the rest of the Quidditch team were sat down picking at their plates.

Honestly, such fuss over a bleeding game!

So I don't know what came over me, I just wanted to raise everyone's spirits. Slowly, captivated by my inner madness, I levitated a piece of potato and then ZOOM it fell splat right on some Slytherins face.

There was an intake of breath and a small pause, James raised his eyebrow at me, a look of shock on his face. And then...

"FOOD FIGHT!"

And there was chaos. Food was flying everywhere and the entire Quidditch team were on their feet, food bombs going off everywhere, huge grins of their faces. I grinned proudly at my handiwork.

SPLAT! Some bugger had thrown mashed potato right in my face! I grimaced, looking around for the culprit.

James was standing opposite me, a huge smirk on his face, potato dish in hand.

I burst out laughing, running after him, my arms spread out in a threateningly messy hug.

After a minute, James and I took shelter underneath the table, tears streaming down or faces from the laughter.

"Lily Evans!" he said, trying to regain his breath, "I never knew you had it in you!"

I giggled as you could hear McGonagall screaming her head off somewhere above us. The food has stopped flying now, but we stayed underneath the table, amongst some frightened first years, just in case.

"Well, I do tend to surprise now and then, Mr Potter," I said, giggling to myself.

He suddenly stops frowning and looks at me sincerely.

"You do," he said and then he got up from under the table and said "wish me luck!" and then he went.

I do? I do what? Surprise him? Honestly, Quidditch turns people barmy.

Anyway the Great Hall was restored to perfect order when I resurfaced, I quickly got rid of my mess (hurrah for magic) and made my way to the stands and that is where I am now.

And there they are coming out of the changing rooms now, eek! Aww James looks so cute, all nervous like that.

Not cute in _that _way. Cute in the aww he is so nervous way!

They're kicking off! Wish us luck!

_Status: Partying_

_Where: Gryffindor Common room_

As you can tell from my Status…WE WON! We _bloody _won! And oh what an amazing game it was. James _They _had it in the bag! James played spectacularly though, dear me. He scored 15 goals all in a row. _Fifteen! _

I tried to find him when he was done but the crowds were too boisterous for me.

So now, as tradition states, the party is at full swing in the Gryffindor common room. Alice is with Frank (of course) so I've been left in this little corner to bond with you, dearest diary.

The noise is getting too loud, and I've been here long enough. I might go congratulate James and get out of here.

_Status: Plan-hatching_

_Where: My Room_

Okay. Wow. So much to write about, so little time.

So after I stopped writing, I went to found James and found him thankfully alone (!) on a couch. I plopped myself down next to him, grinning.

"James!" I said, leaning over to give him a little hug, "Well done! You were awesome!"

James' face looked light it had swallowed a little bulb. Merlin, Quidditch does really get to him.

"Lily!" he says, grinning his Cheshire cat grin, "it's all down to you! The team were stiff as sticks this morning, that little food venture of yours loosened everyone up," he finishes happily, looking like he could kiss squeeze me.

I laughed merrily, "maybe we should make it tradition," I joke, hoping he won't take that seriously.

He nodded and closed his eyes, shaking his head.

"Honestly though Lily, you've been there for me so much for the past week, I don't know if I could have managed without you," he told me earnestly, looking right at me.

"Well, what are friends for?" I asked him, chuckling and inside bursting with success. I called him the friend word now. Although we have been friends for ages, none of us had _said _it.

"You are a pretty amazing friend, Miss. Evans," he told me with a wink, ruffling my hair up.

"Potter!" I mock-shouted, "Do you _want _to ruin my hair?!" I said, putting on my sternest face.

And you know what? The poor guy flinched.

"I'm joking!" I said, trying not to laugh, "Your face!"

And that was us off, both in peals of laughter.

"Merlin Lily, I thought you were serious! Acting like some _hag _about hair!" he exclaimed, grinning now.

"Hag? Excuse me?" I ask in mock-hatred, "but anyway," I tell him, changing the subject, "it's Rob Davies you should be thankful for, he caught the snitch that won you the game, not me."

"Oho," James said, suddenly accusatory tone, "have a little thing for _Rob _do you?"

I blushed scarlet, looking around the room, "keep your voice down! And no I do not!"

He laughed out loud, "you wouldn't be the first Lils, don't worry, your secret is safe with me,"

I was about to retort but suddenly, the music turned up ten notches higher, and I winced as my ear drums almost exploded.

Sensing my pain, he asked, "you wanna get out of here?"

I breathed a sigh of relief and he took my hand and led me out of the room.

"So, Kitchens?" I ask him hopefully, my tummy rumbling loudly.

He puts his head back, howling with laughter.

"Do I have a choice?" he asks, but looks at my tummy instead of me, as if waiting for a reply.

Damn stomach, I thought, my face going pink.

So we got to the kitchens. And we ate. And I mean _ate. _

Is it possible to get drunk on ice cream? I think so.

We lay against the wall side by side; I was leaning on the poor sod, my stomach so full it could burst.

He let out a gross belch and I slapped him on the leg playfully and then he had the nerve to tickle, yes, _tickle _me!

"James!" I tried to shout, "I really will be sick on you!"

And that would be mortifying. Honestly.

So he stopped and I asked him curiously, "shouldn't you be at your party?"

"Nah, rather be here," he told me, getting back into his place next to me.

"Oh," I said simply, "that's nice."

And it is nice. It's more than nice. I finally feel like my guilt has been paid off. And it's not really about guilt anymore is it? I enjoy being friends with him. He's good company.

"James?" I ask into the comfortable silence, "What do you like about in a friend? Like key characteristics?"

He ponders this for a while, scratching his face.

"Well," he starts carefully, "I like surrounding myself with danger, in case you haven't noticed, so for me, I like keeping company with people that are fiery, independent and have that dangerous streak in them," he finishes slowly.

"Oh," I say, and then we both lapse into thinking silence.

After ten minutes or so, we make our way back to the common room, surprised to find that the party had ended.

"I'm sorry for stealing you," I joke, but inside I do feel a bit bad.

"Trust me, I would have left if I wanted to," he tells me amusedly.

We walk back to our own head dorms and say our byes to each other, him going to his room and me to mines.

This is when I begin planning.

James says he likes dangerous people, people who take risks. People that are fun.

But I'm just plain-jane Lily Evans. I'm the most ordinary person brought to earth. Can I afford to lose James as a friend now? No. I really, really enjoy his company.

So I do have a plan. It involves danger. Freedom and danger. And the astronomy tower. But that's all you get to know for now!

I must go to bed now, night x

**A/N: Remember to review. Criticism welcome. x**


	5. Biggest fans and Planning

**A/N: Another chapter. Next chapter comes the tough stuff. Be prepared for a lot of emotions and a rather insane review:)**

_Status: Eek  
Where: Potions_

I normally don't get to write in potions, but someone apparently "vandalised" the cauldrons so we have to wait for another set to be delivered.

Oh my god though. I just had the most exciting experience ever.

So I was heading to Potions when I bumped into none other than Robert Davies. And mighty fine did he look. I couldn't resist it; I just had to make conversation.

"Hey!" I said, approaching him, "well done for Saturdays match! You did so well," I said, beaming and giving my hair a little flick, just as Alice had taught me to do.

Rob gave me a broad grin.

"Thanks Lily!" he said happily, "it's all down to the fans," he said with a wink.

"And I'm a huge fan!" my stupid mouth blurted.

A huge fan? Oh dear. He probably thinks I'm totally lame now.

But he gives me a dazzling smile and walks away.

Oh who cares? He's hot. And he said my name!

"A huge fan?" came a voice, a voice I knew all too well.

"James!" I exclaimed turning red, "funny seeing you here," I chuckle weakly.

He raises an eyebrow mockingly

"Oh I sounded like a right idiot didn't I?" I said, sighing in defeat.

James laughed out loud.

"Not at all Lils! You didn't make a fool out of yourself in front of your biggest hero!" he tells me with a wink.

"James!" I groaned unhappily, "leave me alone!"

"Anyway," he says, offended, "here I was thinking you're MY biggest fan! How wrong I was," he trails of faux sadly.

I roll my eyes.

"I am your biggest fan James. Do you want a pump for that inflated ego?"

"Really?" he asks, excitedly.

"Yes," I tell him slowly, another eye roll, "biggest fan ever, in fact, will you sign my James Potter handbook?"

"No not that bit, the bit about the pump!" he said grinning broadly.

I merely shake my head. That boy.

Anyway...back to Robert. HE SAID MY NAME. He spoke to me!

_Status: Bored_  
_Where: Behind Rob, Transfig_

I've been thinking (staring at the back of Robert). There are so many things I would say to him if I had the guts to.

You know, I'm going to compile them. I call it:  
**THINGS I WOULD SAY TO ROBERTDAVIES IF I HAD THE GUTS TO DO SO: **

Hey Rob. You know those eyes? Yes, yours. They're pretty.

Id love to see you towel-clad. Actually, it's a recurring dream of mine.

Will you marry me?

Please do me the honour of impregnating me?

Move your head out of the way so I can actually see the board? Thanks babe.

So there you have it. Things I am too shy to say to the object of my affections. Otherwise known as why I am still single. Sucks to be me.

Status: Note making with Alice  
Where: Charms  
**  
****_Alice- I feel like we only ever talk in notes these days_**_  
Lily- Alas, that is the life of a NEWT student  
__**Alice- But you've had plenty of time to socialize with OTHER people. Don't think I didn't notice youLily Evans. Going missing with a certain Potter for half the Quidditch party!  
**__Lily- Oh Alice. Give me a break you were with Frank otherwise it would be you I would be stalking!  
__**Alice- so you admit to stalking James? My oh my Lily Evans!  
**__Lily- No! The only reason I got close to him is because of patrols actually! Were great friends now I'll have you know  
__**Alice- boys and girls can't be friends  
**__Lily- ahem FRANK ahem?  
__**Alice-that's different I knew him before we had even heard of Hogwarts. Whatever Lily, I won't tell anyone about you running off to have snog fests with James.  
**__Lily- I am not!_

Snog fests? Honestly was this girl on some sort of drug?

I don't get why it's so hard for her to believe that I'm just friends with James.

Meh. Don't question Alice logic.

_Status: Full_  
_Where: Dinner time, Great Hall_

I just stuffed myself so badly it's disgusting.

It truly is.

I have decided to set myself a target. And that is to CUT BACK on food. Before it becomes an obsession.

I'm not saying I'm fat or anything (I'm on the annoyingly underweight side of normal) but all this crap can't be good for my insides. I end up feeling like a ball of cheese when I'm done eating.

Bleh. Must put pen down. Cannot write.

_Status: Confused_  
_Where: Common Room_

Thankfully I had a perk up potion in my trunk from a lesson we did a few days ago. So I took that and the headed to the common room and began doing (attempting to do) my homework.

Shortly after that, James came into the room and slumped down on the sofa.

"Bad day?" I ask him shortly, not looking up.

He grunted in response.

"James?" I asked, looking up now, "are you alright?"

No response. Oh well, he would tell me when he was ready.

After five minutes of silence I began to doubt this.

"You're distracting me from this amazing amount of homework," I tell him, "so unless you can help me with the fourteen steps of becoming an animagus then I suggest you go sulk somewhere else mister."

I said this jokingly, trying to ease the tension. But when he spoke his voice was cruel.

"Oh whatever Lily. Homework this homework that. You're so bloody boring," he shouted angrily and stomped to his room, slamming the door shut.

What?! Boring?! It felt like a slap in the face. I felt like I should have been angry but I really wasn't. I was dumbfounded.

Ok I knew I was ordinary but BORING was a bit harsh?

James Potter has insulted me plenty in his day, and I have him, but I don't know...maybe it's because it's the first insult he's spat at me in a year's time or the fact that he's become such a good friend, and who likes their friends shouting abuse at them?

Or maybe he just brought up some insecurity of mine.

Maybe it was all three. Either way, I felt awful. It hurt so much and I don't know why.  
I'm ashamed to say that frustrated tears welled up in my eyes and I blinked them back, angry at my weakness.

Why can't I be enough for anyone?

So in these few minutes I've come to a conclusion...I must execute Mission James soon. I'll show him boring.

_Status: YUM _  
_Where: My room _

So after my last entry, I gathered my things and went back to bed.

I lay there for half an hour but I just could not get to sleep.

There was then a soft knock on the door. I paused, thinking of what to do.

It was obvious who it was. Him. Was I really in the mood for more bricks being thrown at my confidence?

But I thought sod it, I couldn't sleep anyway.

So I opened the door and it revealed a pyjama wearing James Potter looking at me with a very sad face.

"Can I come in?" he asked softly, hesitating at the door with a bowl in his hands and a plate covering it.

I nodded slowly and turned on the lights, then returned to sit on my bed.

He followed me and stood awkwardly at the foot of my bed before taking a deep breath.

"I'm so so so sorry!" he began, speaking fast and mumbling, "I had an awful argument with Sirius and I was so mad I didn't know what I was saying! You're not boring at all you're really not and oh damn I really screwed up didn't I Merlin I'm an idiot I'm sorry I'll just go!" he said all of this so fast I could just make out what he said.

"For you," he added and left the bowl on my bed, turning to leave.

I pried the plate of it and saw that it was a massive helping of trace tart and some chocolate ice cream. My heart pounded in my chest. My favourite.

I felt so touched. What poor sod has ever done anything like that for me before? James had just been having a bad day. It could be forgotten.

"James!" I called and stopped him in his tracks. He turned around hesitantly, probably expecting me to chew his ear out.

"Just come here you sod. I'm trying to cut back on food," I tell him truthfully, "and there is no way I'm going to be able to eat that tart by myself," I add.

He lets out a breath he must have been holding and smiling yet hesitant, makes his way over and settles down next to me.

"So...you forgive me?" he asks, still uncertain.

"Well," I say slowly, an idea forming in my mind, "I'll be prepared to forgive you on one little condition..." I point to the chocolate ice cream with my spoon, a mad grin breaking out on my face.

"Oh Lily no! You know I hate that stuff!" he exclaimed unhappily with a grimace.

But naturally, I forced him to eat it and he almost vomited on my sheets. It was still hilarious though, for both of us.

"So," I begin after we've calmed ourselves, "what was that argument with Sirius you were going on about?"

His face clouded and his smile dropped immediately. I hate my stupid mouth for acting on its own accord sometime.

"Nothing major," he told me.

And that was all he said so I left it at that.

We managed to steer the conversation onto calmer seas and soon we were sharing tales and stuff, like usual.

It was three hours later (time really does fly) when he left for his room again, hugging me before he took the empty plates and left.

I don't know why, but the room kind of felt empty without his presence, like it lacked something.

It left me to my thoughts and so I decided to write in here.

I'm now mulling over the events of tonight and yeah, we definitely made up but somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I still worry that I have something to prove to not only James but to myself.

And my plan was this. I am going to participate in a series of dangerous activities with James just to prove to us both that I have it in me.

The first of these activities is to do some star gazing from the astronomy tower. Except, from sitting on the window of the astronomy tower.

I had done it once before back in the day when I was hormonal, angry and full of pent up emotion. It was one of the most liberating feelings ever; the view is insanely beautiful and you just feel so in control of your life.

James will love it.

**A/N: Review peeeeeps. Constructive critisism welcome:)**


	6. Falling and Failing

**A/N: Right so, interesting chapter, slightly abrupt but whatevers. I am starting college tomorrow so updates may be minimal :( Sorry, and please, please review x**

_Status: Sick in the pleasant sort of way  
Where: Charms_

Wow. Um. You know when you're in that state of shock you can barely even think where to start?

Yeah. It's pleasant shock though. Very, _very, pleasant_. Oh, let me just tell Alice, that way I won't have to write twice.

_Notes me and Alice share in charms because I'm hyperventilating_

**Alice- So what's with the excited gleam in your eye Lily-dee?**  
_Lily- I have a date to Hogsemeade. A __date._  
**Alice- OH MERLIN! You finally came to your senses and professed your undying love from James?!**  
_Lily- James? What, no! Don't be silly! Robert Davies, yes __Davies,__ asked me out!_**  
Alice- Shame about James. But still, MERLIN LILY! HE ASKED YOU?  
**_Lily- Always the tone of surprise.  
_**Alice- It's not that it's just…he's hot! Smooooooking!  
**_Lily-Look at me okay? I'm rolling my eyes. That's for you.  
_**Alice-Oh shush. Guess what?  
**_Lily- What?  
_**Alice- James is going to be so mad.  
**_Lily-No he's not! Alice you need to get these sick ideas out of your mind, James likes me as a friend._ _He never liked me as anything more. So shut it now._  
**Alice-Whatever you say, Lils.  
Alice-Lils?  
Alice-Don't ignore me!  
Alice-Damn.  
**  
So, as you can tell from me and Alice's conversation:

a). Alice has lost the plot (for the millionth time)  
b). I am now ignoring her, and  
c). ROB DAVIES ASKED ME OUT

He basically came up to me as I was going to breakfast and he was all like, "hello biggest fan," and I was all like *melt* and then he just asked me. Just like that.

And I said yes. Naturally. Ahhhhh, Rob. He's tall, he's dark and handsome. Totally my cup of tea. So yeah, next Saturday. Me. Rob. Hogsemeade. Bring it on.

Damn, he just looked at me. If I'm not careful I'll end up doing something stupid or melt into a quivering puddle. Not cool.

_Status: Still elated  
Where: Ancient runes  
_  
Well, Roberts ex is giving me hell in runes. Honestly that girl could kill something with her stares. Literally. Poke a hole through it. Poof. Gone.

News travels fast. Alice reckons she has spies. Spies! But then again, this is Alice we're talking about. Where she gets her info from I do not know.

In other news, these runes are difficult. So laters x

_Status: Tired  
Where: Head dorms_

Got patrols with James in a half hour. Time to execute mission:

_ Show James what an amazing, inspiring and totally un-boring friend you are_

Excited.

_Status: Still tired  
Where: Still head dorms_

Whatever happens I cannot make a fool out of myself.

_Status: Nervous  
Where: Head Dorms STILL_

OK so there's five minutes until my plan is put to the test. Five minutes. This could really break or make me. Wish me luck! X

_Status: Ouch  
Where: Hospital wing  
_  
Umm. Hi.

You know when I said this could make or break me?

Well, it broke me.

Literally.

In several places in my bones actually! But on the bright (or not so bright) side; I'm alive! I survived just to retell the story of just what happened to Lily Evans that night she got a clever idea to...

Let me just start at the beginning:

So after I wrote in here I headed out to patrol with James, rearing to go. Oh if only I knew.

We started on the fourth and fifth floor corridors at first wandering around aimlessly; no one was going to be there now.

He asked me what I wanted to do when I graduated.

"To be an Auror," I said, not missing a beat. I've always wanted to be one; I've wanted to tackle savage beings that ruin people's lives from the day Severus Snape called me a Mudblood.

"Cool, see you at training then," James said with a grin.

"You too?" I asked dryly, "I'm not surprised,"

"Why not?" he frowns.

"You're just the Auror type you know..." I start, not knowing fully where I'm going with this.  
"You're always sticking up for what you believe in, I guess, hurray Gryffindor and all that."

James looked happy at this but didn't ask any more about it. Thankfully. It would be a bit embarrassing to tell him that I really thought this way because of all the times he stuck up at me when some nasty Slytherin decided to hate on me, or any other muggleborn for that matter. How his face would crease into a snarl and he'd have them at wand point before they could say "mud".

I chuckled out loud accidentally and James looked at me with a curious grin.

"Someone's happy about something hmm? Oh let me guess, does it begin with an R by any chance?" he asks wiggling his eyebrows.

I let out a little gasp. Hogwarts was some gossip mill! Honestly they don't give the rumour mongers enough credit. Their abilities to get stories spread around quickly are unparalleled.

"Oh no, what have you heard?" I groan, "I snogged him to sleep or something?"

"Something like that, just minus the sleeping," he informs me with a smirk.

Shoot. I don't know why but I suddenly had the fleeting feeling that this would somehow mess up my mission James. I don't know why, maybe old habits, but I felt I had to explain myself.

"There was no snogging! He just asked me out on a date for Merlin's sake!" I pout, irritated.

James chuckled fondly, "Thank god for that," he tells me.

I peer at him curiously, "why thank god? What do you and the rest of Hogwarts care of if I DID happen to snog him?!"

"Nothing!" he says quickly, "it just wouldn't be very proper you know, before the first date," he jokes with a wink.

Oh. That is true. Oh no half of this school must think I'm such a slag. Ah well.

I suddenly remember about my mission...all this Rob talk almost made me forget!

So before he could say anything else I asked him if he felt up to going to the astronomy tower with me. He shrugged and agreed so off we went.

Once we got there I ran to the window ledge, opened it and sat down, my legs kicking in the air.

"Lily," James began slowly, "that looks kind of dangerous, have you done this before?"

I cackled turning to face him, "loads of times!" I tell him, yet grip onto the ledge for dear life.

"If you say so Lils" he says, joining me on the ledge.

Okay so I told him a teeny lie. I had only done this once before, last year with Alice. But it is the most liberating feeling I have ever felt. Your legs floating in the air, the long height from the ground and the beautiful starlit sky.

"Wow," James breathed, "it is beautiful up here."

"Told you so!" I chanted.

We sat in peaceful silence for a minute or two, before he started pointing star names out to me. He showed me Sirius and I snorted tactlessly.

It was nice. Just me, James, the stars. He's bound to think I'm a little more interesting than he gives me credit for now; I stargaze!

He turned round after a moment we spoke at the same time.

"This is-"

"You look-"

I laughed awkwardly, "I look?" I asked him, prompting him to say what he wanted to. Did I have dirt on my face? (That would have been mortifying).

That's when it happened.

I turned towards him, wanting to know what he was going to say I don't know why or how or what possessed me to do it, but my hands slipped. I let go of the ledge and I was falling, screaming, everything.

I heard a scream of LILY! From James and then it was over. No pain, nothing.

And then I woke up, two days later and here I am.

The amazing bit, the really amazing bit, is that...

You know how I'm still alive?

Well, James saved my life.

A very stern Madame Pomfrey told me actually, that James had created a very powerful cushioning charm on the ground below me which is why I didn't feel any pain. And on top of that he had put some spell on me so that my bones didn't crush into a million in pieces. In those few seconds!****

My broken bones and sleepingfortwodays-ness came from the impact of the fall apparently.

And Miss Pomfrey also said that James sat by me for a whole night and day. He refused to go to classes and only left because Madame threatened to call his PARENTS to come and remove him.

I just...James saved my life. I'm still alive; I'm on the mend...so why do I feel so awful?

What was I thinking? I must have given him such a fright. And Alice! She will kill me. Guaranteed.

I've made a mess of everything. It could have been James who fell instead of me. It could have been James.

And then what?

I'd be in bloody pieces that's what. I'd never forgive myself.

Because although it's strange to admit it, I actually enjoy being friends with him. I enjoy our little banters and I find myself looking forward to our patrols, to our little escape from everything.

And I had gone and risked the poor sods life.

I am an awful being.  
_  
Status: Mixed emotions  
Where: Hospital wing_

Ah, visitors. Usually happy people that come by bearing gifts and glad tidings.

Not my Alice.

It was a half past two in the afternoon when the door flew open with such force it was nearly knocked off its hinges. And the perpetrator? Lovely Alice of course. She stormed over to my bed and I waved at her innocently.

"Lily EVANS!" she practically screamed in my ear, "what did you DO? You do realise I've been waiting for two. whole. days. TWO! Just to be allowed to get in here? There's all sorts of rumours going around! The most popular being you tried to KILL yourself!" she finished panting heavily.

Uh oh. But what? Suicide! Bloody Hogwarts!

"Alice, I fell! I bloody fell!"I tell her impatiently.

"I know that know," she spat, but seemed to soften up a little.  
"Oh Lily Dee!" she cried out exasperated, "you can't stay out of trouble for a second can you?"

This was a lie. Trouble just seemed to find me.

So we caught up for half an hour, talked about school work I missed (much to her displeasure), general chit chat. Then she made me explain _six _times how James saved me. SIX! And there was not much to say; I didn't remember anything.

Talking of James, I'm rather anxious to speak to him. What does one say after their new found friend saves their life after a failed attempt at trying to win said friend over?

I don't bloody know. Eek.

_Status: Awkward_

_Where: Hospital Wing (sigh)_

So the most awkward thing just happened. Ever.

It was an hour after Alice had been and gone when I received another visitor (popular me, eh?). To my utter excitement, it was _Rob. _He came!

After I explained to him five times I did NOT try to commit suicide (he said he was worried about me. Worried about _me_!), he was asking me if I were still up for Saturday.

"Of _course!_" I gushed at him, "I-"

That was when James Potter stormed into the Hospital, a look of pure rage in his eyes. Seeing Rob, he stopped.

"I can see you're_ busy,_" he snapped angrily, and promptly turned around and exited the hospital wing.

I looked at Robert. And it was the first time in my life that I wish he was not there. That is saying something.

So after we confirmed Saturday was still on, he left, probably sensing the awkwardness.

Meh.

I really am an idiot? In the past god knows how long I've managed to:

-Nearly get myself killed

-Sabotage my friendship with James

-Sabotage my date with Rob and

-Sabotage my friendship with James again for being with Rob when I should have been explaining myself to him.

All in all, a damn good day(!)

**A/N: So next chapter, repercussions, that all important Lily/James talk. Eek. Please review people, or I won't feel wanted *sniff* **


	7. Flips and Things

**_A/N: _****Right, sorry for the slightly delayed update, just started college and the workload is immense. Sorry for the intensely long A/N, if you like, just skip ahead to the actual chapter!**

**There are a few things I'd like to address:**

**a. Someone has brought to my attention that I may seem to erm "demand" reviews off of you guys, and I just want to apologise If I've come across like that. Sometimes jokes don't transpire well over the internet. Yeah, I do ask for reviews, only because you people and your kind words give me so much motivation to carry on :) But please don't feel pressured into it, I'm fine with your mere views to content me xD**

**b. Alot of people are confused at the many takes I have on Lily and James' relationship of how they got together (this may apply to you if you read my one-shots) and I just want to explain that you know, JKR gave us a lot of blank spaces with these characters. There is no actual way set in stone of how they get together, and I like to explore different ways through my one shots; it's just how I write. However, this Multi-chap for me is like the main way I perceive how they would have possibly gotten together. **

**c. I do need criticism, keeps me on my toes, so if you notice anything off-ish, do let me know?**

**d. Some people don't get what I'm talking about sometimes, but I am from the UK, so there may be certain sayings or phrases that won't be universal in my writing.**

**Thank you all for your dedication :) **

_Status: Resting_

_Where: My room, My dorm (finally!)_

The last few days have been fairly uneventful. I was forced to stay in the Hospital Wing by a scary, formidable Madame Pomfrey. That woman can be very intimidating when she wants to be, believe me!

But anyway, I was dismissed eventually and have been resting here ever since (for two hours).

Okay, now don't kill me, but I still haven't sought out James. I mean, he never came to visit me again since that awkward day with Rob in the hospital wing, as a matter of fact, I haven't spoken to any of my peers since! Not even Alice! (yet again a demonstration of Madame Pomfrey's scary-ness).

And I mean, what's the rush anyway? It's not like I owe him my life.

Ok, it is.

Oops.

But I will approach him! I just don't get why he's mad at me, it's not like I threw myself off the bloody tower!

Being me sucks.

Right, I am off to seek out James, wish me luck.

_Status: Cowardly_

_Where: The Great Hall_

Okay, so I am such a coward. A hungry one. I'm, sorry dearest diary, I really am, but I just didn't have the nerve to do it. And I was hungry for merlins sake! You can't thank people for saving your life on an empty stomach!

Hence why I am now at dinner, so if you'll excuse me...

Nom.

_Status: Full_

_Where: On Alice's bed_

Well, I've just had the most interesting conversation ever with Alice.

It is now fact; she is wackier than ever. Like honestly, she is a sandwich short of a picnic. I really do not wish to disclose the full details of our conversation, namely because it involves her accusations and other insanities. Basically, she is convinced that I should jump James Potter's bones.

Jump his bones? Me? Lily Evans? Never. Has she forgot about Rob? ROB! For merlins sake, a witch doesn't get asked out by ROBERT DAVIES everyday!

And anyway, he saved my life because it was the right, moral thing to do. I would save his too.

Other than that, I just feel so bad for not talking to him yet. And in all honest truth, I miss him. I miss patrolling the corridors with him, I miss the late night trips to the kitchens and the fun we have together. Scary to think that was just a week ago? Feels like decades.

It's about time I face my fears, don't you agree?

_Status: Determined_

_Where: Dorm_

Well, it's my first patrol since I've been back tonight, so I'm going to have to face him anyway. I honestly don't know what I'm going to say, where do I even begin?

"Oh, hey, you saved my life, cheers for that!"

Och aye, that would go down well.

Wish me luck.

_Status: Bewildered_

_Where: My bed_

Ok, so patrol was...eventful. Hmm. Yes. So...where do I start? The beginning would be a good place, I assume.

I found James in our common room, half surprised he had turned up (he'd been avoiding the place _and me_ like the plague since _it _happened). The weirdest thing ever happened when I saw him, my chest froze up and I couldn't breathe let alone get any words out. Damn nerves, get me every time. I didn't know what to say so I did the "clear-my-throat-stroke-get-your-attention" cough, and that seemed to do the trick. He turned around and...well.

Something came over me, it really did. His face was set into an expression of shock (was he surprised I showed up too?) and his eyes were big and round and hazel and argh; he was looking at me with such a strange expression: pain, betrayal, shock, recognition and _something _etched on his face.

It made me freeze yet melt at the same time. And let me tell you; it is an odd combination. It was so out of the ordinary, so different; I just can't put my finger on it.

Anyway , the indecipherable moment that passed between us was gone in almost an instant; he awkwardly rumpled his messy mop of hair and I averted my gaze to the floor, creating circles with my foot.

A few coughs later, and I couldn't take it. I headed off out the portrait hole and then, mustering up all the effort, turned around and asked if he was coming.

Still not talking to me, he nodded as if coming out of a trance and slowly followed me.

The first five minutes of patrol were the most awkward in my whole entire life.

Literally.

I should make it a legal declaration:

**I, Lily Evans, hereby declare that the five most awkward minutes of my seventeen years of existence, took place today.**

I couldn't look at him, nor him at me. I was sure I was red, maybe even purple, and even _he _had a reddish hue on his face! And his ears were scarlet. No lie.

It went on like this for the remaining five minutes, before I burst. I couldn't take it any longer. Conveniently, we were just passing by the kitchens, so I directed him inside, and there we sat.

"This is ridiculous," I said at once, blurting it out.

"Oh? You don't say?" he spat, almost scathingly. It actually hurt me, the way he had a look of impatience on his face, like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

"Excuse me?!" I asked, bewildered, "I get that you might be mad that I never thanked you, but you haven't exactly made it easy for me to find you!" That was the truth!

"Thank me?" he asked, his voice low, "you think this is about me wanting your _thanks?_ I'm not that conceited! Maybe I wanted an answer as to why you would be so stupid to act like you _knew _what you were doing up on that astronomy tower?!"

Oh, I did not want to get to this part just yet.

"I bloody well fell off, easy mistake!" I said defensively, "anyone could have!"

"Are you for real?" he said, eyebrow raised, "do you think I'm stupid? You were practically shitting bricks up there; I could see it all over your face!"

"Was not!" I folded my arms adamantly, but I think I was blushing by this point.

"All I want to know," he began, his voice low, serious, steely, "is _why."_

Oh great. Awkward part. I had to make a split second decision here:

Lie, lie, lie.

Tell the truth?

Lying would just get me into deeper trouble, but the truth was too embarrassing for me to even say out loud.

But could I bargain being in deeper trouble with him?

No. And hence, truth prevailed.

"You know what you said," I started, gulping here, "about me being boring?"

I couldn't look at him at this point, I really couldn't. I could feel the warmth radiating off my face and that was enough to portray my evident shame.

There was a still pause. No response. And then...

"Lily," he spoke softly, so soft I mentally quivered, "is that what it was about?"

And then I finally look up at him.

He was broken.

His previous disgust had vanished from his face, only to be replaced by dejection, hurt, guilt.

Oh no. No, no, no. Now he was going to feel that it was his fault! I am a bad person!

"James," I told him sternly, "it's not your fault! It's just something...something I had to prove to myself," I finish of lamely tailing away.

"No!" he said, angry now, he rises abruptly, "this is my bloody fault! I didn't mean it Lily you know I didn't!"

I had stood up and he shook me, actually shook me, as if aiming to knock some sense into me.

"I know you didn't," I told him with a smile, "I just didn't want to lose you as a friend...the human being does crazy things when they think they are emotionally vulnerable,"

This pacifies him slightly; he visibly calms. I'm expecting more defence, more anger. But he looks at me for a moment and then out of nowhere, throws himself around me, encasing me in his tight hug. I felt him breathing into my hair and he whispered softly into my ear.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again, Lils."

_Flip._

That was my stomach. He pulled away soon (too soon?) and was replaced by a feeling of emptiness.

I stood there for a second, reeling. My stomach...that _flip..._it made me feel weak; it made my legs want to give way.

So I smiled and promised not to scare him ever again, and we decided to return to doing some _actual _patrol, in case McGonagall slices our skins and allows her first years use it as parchment.

So we left behind the kitchen and the hugs and the _flips. _

After a half hour of chatting about the usual things (I love how we could go back to normal in an instant), I tentatively bring up his antics in the Hospital Wing a few days ago. His face automatically hardened; oops Lily. Wrong move.

"You were with Rob," he said, almost disgusted, "and I had just, no offence, saved your bloody life, I thought I ought to have an explanation, not that idiot, especially since Pomfrey hadn't let me in before then."

Well, that would make sense. Poor James, I really do hassle him.

"What have you got against Rob," I mused out loud.

"Nothing," he said, indifferent, "I just think I was owed an explanation more than him!"

"Fair point," I said, "sorry there."

He waved his hand in not-rude dismissal and then he turned to me with a grin, determined to change the subject, no doubt.

So we got talking about how Sirius blew some potion up in Slughorns lesson, and we laughed and chatted away some more.

Now I'm sat here, on my bed, so bewildered, as my status conveyed.

Mainly about the _flips, _I mean, they were new to me. It wasn't the "I'm-so-nervous-for-this-exam" _flip _or the "I-just-ate-something-bad" _flip_. No, this was another _flip _entirely. It was in a flipping league of its own. It was a nice flip, the kind of flip you might get on a first date, or a second date, or when the guy you have a crush on gives you that look.

And that is the odd thing.

I have no romantic feelings for James whatsoever, I know that. So why that kind of _flip? _Maybe it's the not so simple reason that if someone you spend so much time with saves your actual life, then waits by your bedside for HOURS for you to wake up, then completely forgives you for scaring the balls off of him, then _flips _will just naturally occur!

I'm definitely putting it down to that for now. I don't have feeling for James. Not in that way. I mean, he is incredibly cute, but not in the I-want-to-jump-your-bones-like-Alice-says way, just in the...aww...I'd like to ruffle your hair way.

Yeah, I'd ruffle James' hair. I'd maybe even, you know, _like _James if he wasn't James my close friend and if I wasn't already practically engaged in my head to Robert Davies.

Maybe.

I best get some sleep. My hand actually aches now. I must stop having such an interesting life; there would be much less for me to write if that was the case.

G'night.

**A/N: Hope you all liked it, thanks again :) **

_P.S Some of you may not know this but the term I used, "Och aye," is a Scottish phrase, not me talking gibberish! xD _


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